The Power of Words

It's been said many times, many ways- no, not Merry Christmas.  I'm talking about the fact that the words you speak create your reality.  Whether you call it Proverbs 18:21 (Death and life are in the power of the tongue) or the Law of Attraction, the principle is the same.  It's been said so many times, so many ways because it's so true.
I want to address specifically how the power of language as it relates to relationships between men and women- even more specifically how women speak about men.  Women, talk shows, chick flicks and books have been accused of male bashing.  I'm not even going to deny it.  I don't have to go very far to hear a woman downing men.  Our co-workers do it; we do it in groups on girls' night out; we do it at the hair salon.

• Men are dogs
• Men are crazy
• Men are liars
• Men cheat
• Just like a man
• Men ain't sh*t

These are the adjectives and phrases used often when women speak of significant others, husbands, baby daddies, fathers, cut buddies and other male figures.  That's just the tip of the iceberg.  It gets much worse than that.  I don't think most of it is malicious though.  I think many times it may stem from aggravation, hurt or a general lack of understanding of male behavior.  Even though we've learned that men and women communicate differently, women sometimes still don't understand the male way of communicating or being in a relationship.  Sometimes we have legitimate reasons for being confused or angry. Other times it's because we've analyzed, dissected and evaluated a man's words and behavior to death- far beyond what he actual meant- which was "hello."
Regardless of how it starts, this language is so damaging to all parties involved- the speakers, hearers and subjects.  This quote from Calling In The One by Katherine Woodward Thomas sums it up:

If you complain that 'all the good ones are taken,' then you'll probably meet only married or engaged people that you are attracted to.  If you believe in your heart that you'll never find true love, then my guess is that you'll probably be right.  'I thought you would never get here.' [she] said.  ' I know, and that's what took me so long...' writes Marianne Williamson.

So, we dog men out, complain about them, slander their names and those are the very men we wind up meeting and later entangled with and repeating the same cycle with.  That's powerful!  It's bad enough that adult women do it but we teach girls to think, talk and manifest this way as well.  Let's go back to square one.  Before male and female we are all human- all divinely created for the same purpose with the same value.  Then we have different roles.  One is incomplete without the other; neither is better than the other.  We need each other.  I often wonder when I hear women complaining about men- do you like men?  Listening to the animosity and absolute venom coming from them, one would think they despise men.  I doubt that is actually the case (consciously) but the consequences are the same.
I love men!  I love everything about how God created them- strong, protectors, loving, kind, kings, leaders.  I love how they fix things, kill scary bugs, open tight jars, lift heavy objects, navigate trips (even if they won't stop for directions), stand up for women and children, live and breathe sports, open doors, head households and all the other things God created them to do perfectly.  I love how they think differently than I do even if I don't always understand or agree.  I love how they balance and complement my divinely feminine, emotional, nurturing, intuitive way of being.  Of course, some of them make me mad, hurt my feelings, irritate me, lie, break promises, disappoint me or don't meet my expectations.  Then again, so I do and as do most people (women included)- not intentionally of course.  It doesn't warrant maligning an entire sex and it certainly isn't worth the malevolence that those words and thoughts invite into our lives.
So, when I'm upset or confused and tempted to lash out with vicious generalizations about men, I remember two things: 1) my own flaws 2) my deep, trusting, hopeful, persevering, forgiving, unfailing love for men.  I consciously choose to invite the people and circumstances I desire into my life with the words I speak, the thoughts I have and the conversation I choose to be a part of.
Much love ♥